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Archive for the ‘depression’ Category

Oh my…

I have climbed mountains… at least it feels like it. What I did was to make four phone calls… I really dislike using the phone.

First I called my social secretary and told her that my contact person is having a vacation so we can’t meet today.

Then I called an old books store and asked them if they buy books. They do. In bulk. Like dozens of books at once. Like book collections and such. I have like half a dozen books to sell… So that road won’t give me more money 😦 But I called.

Then I called the Finnish whatsit and asked where my money is. They had paid it already September 2006. I haven’t still got it… But I called.

I called the bank and asked them where my money is. They have it. In a bank in Finland. So – we have 250 cronas and 130 euros in a bank in Finland I can’t get my greedy-needy fingers on… *sigh* But I called.

Now I’m sitting here shaky because I REALLY DON’T LIKE TO CALL. Panic anxiety isn’t quite sure what to do, because it’s too late for it to stop me from doing things I need to do, but panic anxiety is what I’m experiencing right now… I think I’m going to bed 😉

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Antidepressive medicin magnify

is a killer… I started two weeks ago, and I’m soooo tired… the first two weeks are the worst, says my psychologist, but damn what a hard two weeks it has been… I have had anxiety non-stop for two weeks, it’s only when I’m sleeping, when I slip the damn thing. And now I have no energy left. On the other hand, I have been working like a little ant these two weeks, trying to ignore the anxiety, do other things to give me something else to think about, take care of me – the dog is happy, he’s never had so many walks as these two weeks… so I suppose it’s no wonder I’m finished 😀
I slept through Tuesday afternoon, and yesterday, and I am going to sleep today too – I can’t sleep tomorrow, and right now I’m really scared that I will be just as tired tomorrow as I am today… I will fell asleep in the train to city and wake up at the airport (the destination station) LOL

Anyway… I need to do some work now…

 

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