Training the dog

As there is 100 months to m 50th birthday and 50 things to do, I think I’ll give each thing 2 months, with more time to make the practice sit well.

Naturally I cannot get anything right now that costs money, like a motorcycle or taking courses and so on, but I can do things that don’t cost anything, like starting to get my condition up, my weight down and the dog trained 😀

I am going to give the weight loss program the whole 100 months. Nevertheless, for this year, the plan is to get my weight under 80 kilos, and be able to do push-ups and pull-ups; at least 10 of both.
I also plan on participating in “Tjejmilen” already this year. If I keep getting longer walks with the dog, I believe it will get my condition up, and the dog will be happy.
I have also decided to cut of sweets, white wheat and sandwiches, my three biggest problems, and try to be vegetarian the summer half of the year. I believe this will be enough for dieting for now, and I wouldn’t be surprised if I lost more weight than planned.
I do have to plan how to get the upper body stronger…

What I have been doing the last 2-3 days? Pottering with dog training.

Our Springer Spaniel, Boris, is a really, really, really smart dog. His biggest problem is that his owners aren’t very good dog trainers. We are patient, kind and intelligent, and WHEN we do it, we do it well, but we DON*T do it. Already when he was a puppy, I had the idea that he’s my husband’s dog, so HE do the training. Also, he had been bragging about a previous dog, and I was kind of p’d off by that. As if I didn’t count, or something. Now he’s 6 and practically untrained.

Oh, he’s so smart, he knows how to walk the leash although he doesn’t do it well, he knows how to back, he knows right and left, he knows crawl and jump, shake and pee, sit and a lot of other things… But I want to teach him search mushroom next autumn, and take the course, he needs to have “basic obedience training” sitting in his backbone so well he could take a novice obedience cert. THAT would not happen today 😀

But he is getting the clicker and that he must be calm to get the candy really quickly… I’m so proud of him 🙂
I’m sure I’ll train him be home alone too 🙂

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50 things before 50

playing with ideas…

I am going to get fit. I have always wanted to be an acrobat, already when 5 years old. It’s one of my first memories of my life… me balancing on the back of a chair after having watched circus in television. It was an armchair, but still…

I want to do yoga, taichi, martial arts, parkour… I want to become a contortionist. I want to be able to do a split and backflip and sit on my head. I want to be able to walk on my hands, do 100 pushups and 20 pullups. Right now I think I could manage like 5 pushups and zero pullups. I probably couldn’t even hang on the bar.

I want my condition back. I want to be able to run “tjejmilen” (The Swedish mile is the “old land mile”, that is 36000 feet, and today it’s 10 km – quarter-marathon, perhaps :-)) and have a good result. 10 km shouldn’t be anything to even think about.

I want to learn to dance – everything. Especially flamenco, samba, tango, tribal belly dance, tap dance and ballet… I really want to dance on my toes. I don’t think it’s a smart thing, though, because I have got the impression it’s rather painful, and I, with my Asperger’s, am 100% about comfort. Bruised toes and Asperger’s don’t match well… And I want to learn to dance historical dances, like branle and menuette.

I am going to at least take one class of martial arts. It doesn’t matter I’m fat, weak, old and have asthma 😀

I want to skydive, bungee jump, make a dive from high cliff and ride a hot air balloon, paraglide, ride a helicopter, go on a canopy tour and basejump, and… Actually, this list sounds very interesting and enjoyable: National Geographic’s top 10 aerial adventures 😀

I want to learn to fly and have my own plane.

I want to visit space… zero gravity flights and watch a rocket launch… yes. 🙂

I want to be thin. I want to weigh 60 kilos. (130 pounds) I want to feel what it’s like to be thin. I’ve been fat all my adult life – or at least felt myself fat.
I want to know what it is like to be beautiful. “Be listed as one of People Magazine’s “50 Most Beautiful People”… I don’t think THAT is ever going to happen… I mean… who would ever be able to see me?

I want a tattoo… perhaps some black birds in silhouette on one shoulder… that looks really nice. Or a big tribal-ornamental-Viking-Celtic-Kalevala-koru triangular tattoo on upper back 😀

I also want to learn to make tattoos. I think I would be good at it.

I want to design and make my wardrobe, up to accessories. I want to know how to make hats, corsets and shoes.

This photo is by Viona Art.

“Viona, who is herself some strange, mystical, unearthly being.  She is modelesque, with an incredible face, and poses in many of her own photos.  It also appears that every one of her friends is also modelesque, were born seamstresses, and all do great hair and makeup.  To add to the bizarre soup of it all, they’re all German, who speak perfect English, and travel the world taking surreal pictures.  They have the ability to attach horns to their head, wear fur and look stunning, obtain and successfully sport colored (or lack there of) contacts, and apply gallons of liquid eyeliner with no flaw nor shakey hand whatsoever.”
– Lauren: Gothic
I want that…
I want to buy a good camera and learn to use it
I want to learn how to make up a make-up 😉 and do hair…
I want to grow my hair really long and have a blog about long hairstyles 😀

I want to design costumes for a Hollywood movie. Preferably for a Tim Burton movie 😀

I want to act in a Hollywood movie 😀 I want to win an Oscar in screenplay and costuming 😀

“Meet one of my heroes”
That would be nice… I know I will be really sad the day they die and I didn’t even write to tell them how much they meant to me. Christopher Lee and David Attenborough… both are getting old. Can kick the bucket at any moment.

I want to go to a date with my 100 celebrity dates list. 🙂 Or even better… I want to paint their portraits, in real portrait painting situation… with them sitting in a room and talking while I paint them. It last longer and I don’t need to be social and charming, nor eat. 😀
I want to learn to paint portraits really well.
I want to learn to make sculptures, portrait busts… I also want to learn to use the wheel well. I want to be really good at pottery and clay.

I want to have an art exhibition, with paintings, drawings and photography – and crafts and sculptures/pottery, and calligraphy, embroidery…

I want to create art to help collect money to WWF and Unicef. Maybe make cards and stuff.

I want to support myself as a writer.
I want to write a novel and have it published.
I want to write a screenplay and have it made into a Hollywood movie.
I also want my play in a theater.
I want to publish a book of poems.
I want to translate books and get it published.
I want to write a non-fictional book and get it published.
I want to write articles and get them published.
I want to illustrate a book and get it published too.
I want to be a published author.
I also want to write lyrics to a song that gets recorded and played in radio.

I want to win the Nobel literature prize. And Hugo award. And Rudolf Koivu award. And… Even though Orson Scott Card says awards are… not important. Don’t mean anything. But – it’s easy for him to say, he has plenty 😀

I want to have a tarot deck published.
I also want to get fluent in reading tarot cards, and do readings in public.

I want to get my Etsy shop up and running.
I want to sell at Renaissance faires.

I want to learn to play the guitar and my recorders well. I have two excellent recorders, a descant recorder and a treble recorder. I also have a violin, and I’d love to be able to play it well, folklore style.

I also want to learn to sing well. Contralto in opera style. I want to learn to sing Holofernes from Vivaldi’s Judith Triumphans 🙂

I want to be so confident that I could travel around the world, and support myself by singing, dancing, playing music, doing some acrobatics and juggling, reading cards and plaiting hair, telling stories and doing some simple magic tricks…perhaps have a puppet theater… and the fire tricks would be nice to know, you know, fire breathing, -eating, -fleshing and -dancing.

I want to travel around the world.

I want to visit Scotland and Ireland, be at Stonehenge at Midsummer and Newgrange at Midwinter.
I want to see the Great Wall of China, Taj Mahal, Hagia Sofia, Hermitage, Louvre, Prado… and I want to see Nefertiti in Berlin. Forbidden city and terracotta warriors… Lascaux and Altamira… I want to visit to Rio and learn to live, have fun and enjoy life.

I want to spend a month in a Catholic convent and contemplate life.

I want to learn French, Spanish, Italian and German as well as I know English and Swedish.

I want to get bees on our balcony and learn to make home cosmetics with beeswax

I want to learn to make preserves, jellies, jams etc.
I want to write a cookbook

I want to “master the art of sausage making, pasta making”, handpulled noodles, preserves and conserves, and making dairy products, like smetana and cheese,.
I want to learn to brew mead, cider and ale
I want to bake through the daring bakers list and do it well
I want to have a cake displayed in Cake Wrecks Sunday edition
I want to become a chocolatier and pastry chef extraordinaire… get a candy makers master degree 🙂

I want to be vegetarian for a summer – from Beltane to Samhain.
I want to quit sugar… because I’m addicted to the stuff. It makes me sick. I know, it’s kind of stupid to want to become world’s best pastry and sugar chef, and then refuse to eat the stuff…

I want to learn tinkering, woodworking, working with glass, from glass blowing and stained glass to lampwork, candle making, model making… a hundred crafts…

I want to create a city miniature… about my fantasy city.

I want to build an Edwardian dollhouse in 1:6

I want to create a collection like the “house on the rock”/Jay Walker’s Library collections… suffragettes, witches, mythical beasts, swords, puppets, special effects… music boxes, snowglobes, paper engineering, clockworks and steampowered gadgets… dioramas. A collection of decoration for every Shabat like for Halloween, Easter and Christmas. Musical instruments. Carousel animals and figure heads… Noah’s ark, amber and peacocks.

I want to make a puppet theater and use that in my storytelling and Renaissance Faires… with hand puppets, not marionettes, even though I’d like to learn to work those too.

I want to learn to make claymation and animation and make a movie

I want to become a toymaker… and make mechanical toys, all work with simple clockwork and steampower and such.
I want to understand and learn Heron’s principles…
I want to learn how to make a fountain with the 17th century technique.

I think I’d like to build myself a T-Ford type car… Uh. Better forget that idea. At least for now. I could build it when I’m 60 😀

I want to get really good with paper.
There is this woman who makes furniture out of corrugated cardboard… of course I cannot find any pictures, but she laminates the corrugated cardboard into sheets, and uses papier mache and makes really nice furniture out of it. It’s sturdy too. She loves drawers, and makes cabinets with many drawers, all different shapes and sizes… really lovely.
I want to make 1000 cranes

I want to design the interior of our apartment and get it done.
I want to replace the disgusting plastic carpeting with wooden and ceramic floors in every room.
I also want to frame all the artwork in this house and have it on the walls, and I want more art. I really want to own 19th century Scandinavian art… I suppose it’s graphic that counts. I once had a wonderful dream… I was visiting a house of a friend’s friend, and she had a wall filled with amazing graphic sheets… I want that.
I want a walk-in pantry, well stocked and aired.
I want a scented linen closet with lace and silk ribbons.
I want a le Corbusier recliner
I want a craft room, a work room, a place to boil my potions and lotions, dye yarn and make art… Ah. I want the loom back up and working. With heavy rubber feet so that it won’t cause so much noise.

I want an English country cob cottage and a small homestead and support myself there.
Until I get there, I want to have my balcony garden organized and working.
I want a herb garden.
I want to create a labyrinth in Kangaslampi.

“Rent a vacation house for a week and have friends stay over” – yes… I want to celebrate my 50th birthday in a vacation house somewhere nice with my whole family. 🙂
I want to connect with my childhood friends.
I want to host a Murder Mystery dinner party
I want to try something “spiritual”, like go to a medium, have a past life regression or get an “Akashic record reading” 🙂
I want to learn the hocus-pocus Derren Brown Mentalist hypnotism cold-reading lie-to-me “interpreting microexpressions and body language” mind control neuro-linguistic programming stuff.
I want to go to a sing-a-long Rocky Horror Picture Show and sing along 😀
I want to learn public speaking.
Sort of sick, I know. I really don’t LIKE being with people, but on the other hand I do.

Some other things:

I want to get debt free. It would be really nice to become a millionaire too, but… I wonder how that’s going to happen. I’ll think about that tomorrow 😀

I want to learn to ride an MC and get one with sidecar.

I want to train our dog and teach him some basic obedience. Like walking nicely in leash and coming when called. He’s a Springer Spaniel, so when he gets loose in the forest, he forgets everything about me, and just follows his nose.

I want to grow a bonsai tree. I know my husband thinks it’s tree abuse, but I think they are amazing.

I also want to make a terrarium, and a cactus garden on a tray…

I want to get rid of my codependency and overachieving.
Hehe… this list isn’t much help for that, is it 😉 Perhaps for the codependency thing. I don’t want to wait for things to happen, I want to make them happen. I don’t want to wait. I want to do things for me, simply because I like them.

Plenty of things to think about.

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